Here is what Scott Haney wrote on Paul Hahn’s steel going-away card, 18 May 2001:
Paul,
Кажди ден я крадут карандаши на работаю!
Scott Haney
Bill Gober assumes this is supposed to be Russian, in which case it contains errors. (Of course, Bill cheated and consulted Russian dictionaries….) Here is Bill’s corrected text:
Павел,
Каждый день я краду карандаши на работе!
Скотт Хэйний
This translates to:
Paul,
Every day I steal pencils at work.
Scott Haney
Now we know!